Wow this is going to be a long blog! I have so much to say from last week because so many things have changed and happened and I have learned so much! Before I get started I would like to preface this post with I will be using technical words to describe things that are going on in my body and/ or will be going on in my body that I learned from my birthing class. I know some can be offended but I mean no offense just to inform everyone in an adult manner of what pregnancy and what I have been told birth are like.
So, let's get started! I am so excited about starting month 9!!! It's the month we've been waiting for right?! As exciting as it is, things have started getting extremely difficult. I have been saying I'm not handicapped or disabled but this past week has definitely started to feel debilitating. My feet and ankles have started to swell. I had always heard of swelling in the feet and ankles but never realized that it can be extremely uncomfortable. If I stand too much they tend to get really bad so sitting has become my go to and when I can, I elevate my feet. Usually when I wake up in the morning I have ankles again but they are still slightly swollen. This is normal and nothing to be concerned about because as I learned I have 7 pounds of extra fluid in me right now that my body is trying to process!!! How insane is that?! My hands have also been swelling a little bit so wedding rings have definitely been off for a while. I would like to add that any severe swelling should be reported to your doctor or midwife because it can be a problem but mild swelling is just part of pregnancy even though its uncomfortable.
The other weird or at least unexpected symptoms I have had, all have been uterus and vagina related. Thursday night I had a very intense Braxton Hicks contraction. I say intense because it actually made me stop reading the magazine I was reading and think about what was happening. I still wouldn't describe it as pain though. It only felt like pressure, intense pressure yes but just pressure. Yesterday, however it felt like the baby was going to fall out! The only way I know how to describe it is having a bowling ball in my vagina. And along with that I would have these sharp twinges in my vagina that would come and go. I asked last night at the birthing class what in the world that was and guess what?!?!?... It's the baby's head on my cervix. Baby soybean has officially dropped down and has it's little head ready to come out. She said it doesn't mean that labor is extremely close but it does mean that everything is coming into place to get labor started! That got me soooo excited, which leads me to the 2nd half of the blog and that's to tell you about the birthing class with the doula!!
OK! The things we learned last night at the birthing class, oh my gosh it was so much I hope I can remember everything! She went over how to think about birth and labor. Labor can be a positive thing even though in our society its seen as a traumatic and horrible experience. The first step is to think of birth and labor as positive and embrace the things that my body is about to go through. I've definitely done that. I am excited to get to experience labor and I can't wait to actually do it pretty soon! The next step she said was to make a plan in my head of what I want my birth to be like. Do I envision it peaceful, or fun or with candles? I should discuss this with Andy and what I expect out of him during the process as well. She said to make this plan and then let it go. Sounds weird right? But she said it's important to have a plan but it's also important to be ok with things not going the exact way I envision it because birth is unpredictable. Anything can happen that could change the scenario I planned for and I shouldn't be disappointed about that, I should just accept that my baby is an active participant in the process and it decides sometimes how it wants to come. She also suggested a what-if plan for birth. I need to be mentally prepared for something happening and we have to go to the hospital so that I won't feel like a failure if that is the case. There are needs for interventions however it's not 50% of the time like it is in most hospitals in America. I thought it was a great idea for making sure my wishes are met even if for some reason we have to go to the hospital.
Next we discussed when to go to the birthing center. How early should you go, what should we take etc. To describe to us when we should start heading to the birthing center she described the 3 stages of labor to us. The first being early labor where contractions are 20 minutes apart and are not very intense. She told me most women begin this process at night and sometimes don't even realize they've been in labor until they notice they have gone to the bathroom about 4 times in an hour because of contractions. Her biggest advice was this, its ok to be excited that the day is finally here but don't get up or wake Andy up, just lay down and try to sleep through as many as I can. Most first time labors take on average 12-18 hours, so if I can sleep during a lot of the contractions do it, because 18 hours later I'm going to need all the energy I can get! She said to ignore it as long as I can. Eventually contractions will become closer together and get to where I can not do something else or think about something else while one is happening. This is when I am supposed to leave work, if I'm there or if it's at night that's when I wake up Andy. Now you would think that means its time to go to the birthing center but its not. Andy is my coach and we will do most of my labor at home. She taught him techniques of massage last night in order to get me through the contractions as they get more and more intense. She taught us a move called the birthing dirty dance (it made me laugh). The way you do it is I put my arms around his neck and he puts his hands on my hips. I squat down pretty low and do big circular movements with my hips. His hands on my hips are to guide me to make as big of a circle as I can and my arms around his neck are for support so I don't topple over. We tried it last night and it felt great already! The squatting opens up the pelvis and takes the pressure of your cervix so I was instantly more comfortable, I can definitely see how that would help! The other techniques she taught him were to get me to take huge steps like a lunge that we used to do in PE class. That is also to open up the pelvis and to stretch out my leg muscles. She said usually you will only get in about 3 or 4 steps before another contraction happens and then comes the birthing dirty dance. Massage techniques were to show Andy how to put counter pressure on me. Counter pressure is used to help my body concentrate on another part of the body other than the uterus while a contraction is happening. I should stand facing a wall with my hands above my head on the wall and me leaning into my hands with my head. Andy can then push on my hips and lower back to give me the counter pressure I'll need. The main thing to remember about this technique is that the pressure has to be extremely hard for it make any difference to the laboring woman so Andy should push harder than he thinks he should. It should seem like it would hurt me but not to worry it won't!
So in labor we are past the early stage and into where the contractions are coming a lot closer together and I am getting more serious. During all of this Andy's job is very important. Not only should he be using the techniques I just mentioned but he should also be reminding me to change positions every 20 minutes and going to the bathroom every hour. The positions are important as well. Since I have already been told that our baby is head down and its back is hanging out on the left side of belly I should start out laying on my right side. This way gravity will cause the baby to move to the right side then after 20 minutes I should switch to my left side causing the baby to move again to the left side. She stressed that laying on my left side first could cause the baby to flip over into the posterior position meaning its back would be against my back, and this could cause horrible back labor. So I will definitely be remembering that! Andy's job also is to make sure I eat or drink something every 20 minutes as well. She suggested easy to digest things such as juice, cereal, things like that and to make sure I am getting carbohydrates and protein. These two things are essential to keep my energy up to make it through what she described as a marathon your body is running. My job through all of this is to relax. Contractions are more painful the more tense you are. Resisting the contractions and fighting against them is what causes the labor to be longer and extremely painful. I need to focus on relaxing every muscle in my body except the uterus working. Allow it to work the way it's supposed to and breathe! Breathing is the crucial part. She told us about the uterus not getting enough oxygen can actually cause it to cramp up like a charlie horse in your leg. This would cause the contractions to be excruciating, so breathe normally and deeply in through the nose and out through the mouth. Another one of Andy's jobs to make sure I'm breathing correctly and reminding me to relax.
So when do I need to go to the birthing center?? We're still at home at this point. When contractions are at least a minute to a minute and half long, are 5 minutes apart and have been for the past hour it is time to head to the birthing center. She suggested Andy already have the car fixed up for me by putting the bags in the car, the car seat and the super absorbent pads in the passenger seat in case my water breaks on the way. Interestingly enough I always thought my water would break and then I would go into labor, she said that most women's water does not break until 7cm dilated! That really shocked me! She said if my water does break before that I need to call the midwife right away because once the water is broken there is a time table you are on so that you do not get an infection. We are to text the midwife during early labor to inform what is going on and that labor has started and just give her random updates throughout to let her know where we are in the process and of course call her to tell her we are on our way. She told us the car ride should be as smooth as possible. It's important to drive the speed limit and for me to just continue breathing and Andy to continue to coach me through each contraction with his voice.
So we get to the birthing center active labor is going strong we're getting closer than ever to meeting our baby. The part she said is critical is the emotion I will feel as I get closer to 10cm dilated. Every woman gets to a point where she looks up at her coach and says she doesn't think she can do it anymore. The contractions are extremely close together and intense and she's been doing this for hours. It is crucial for Andy at this point to remind me how great I've been doing and encourage me because usually when a woman reaches this point she is usually only 1/2 and hour to 2 hours away from the pushing stage! She just needs a little reassurance that what she is doing is difficult and she's been doing beautifully and can continue on!
Finally, after all this labor its time for pushing. She told me to remember that a lot of times pushing takes a few hours for a new mom and that's the way it should be. Each push stretches out the vaginal canal slowly to prevent tearing and she told us it is extremely rare for a natural birth woman to tear. She isn't rushed and she is encouraged to get into whatever position feels right for her. She told me to remember to take a deep breath and then push until I need to breathe again then stop and take a breath. Never should I try to hold my breath longer than it feels right and always breathe well and deep. Obviously pushing ends when the baby emerges and we have our little one in our arms. She suggested we discuss what we want at that moment. Does Andy want to catch, or cut the umbilical cord etc.
It seems we have a lot to plan and discuss, but it was also reassuring because we had already packed a good bit of stuff for labor. I really can not wait until the day comes and we get to meet this little baby that will be our son or daughter! It's going to be an absolutely incredible experience and we're both going to deliver our baby together in love.
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